CONFRONTING THE ANGEL OF GRIEF

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As of late I have been visiting some beautiful cemeteries enjoying the green fields, abundance of different growing flowers and plant life, but deep inside while reading the many names and dates, and examining the exquisite art work, I am reminded by a thought that keeps floating above my mind every now and again: some where someone was or is still grieving a loss. You can feel it lingering in the air even among the peace and quiet.

It has been said the deeper the love the deeper the mourning. I first experienced loss as a child of nine when my father passed away. We were close even at my young age. He supported and took an interest in everything I did. Losing him left a big gap in my short life and I learned the meaning of sorrow and loss much too early. There was no guidelines or counsel at the time on how to deal with it. The cycles of life just rolled forth and I had to get through each day as best as I could.  I have experienced loss quite a few more times since then and I can’t say that in adult life it got any easier. It tends to take one by surprise in both mind and body and we carry it with us for the rest of our lives. It can be felt even decades after one has left this earth. No wonder there is a quiet restlessness even among the most tranquil graveyards. 

Not long ago I experienced a burial with the Odd Fellows of whose order I am a member, of a little girl whose coffin was found 120 years after she was originally buried in the old Odd Fellows cemetery. Crowds of people along with the press came to watch this historic moment. It was a touching ceremony of which the whole community came to witness so that this little girl who died at only three years of age it was estimated would not be forgotten. I watched as the coffin was lowered into the ground and in my mind I wondered how her original parents must have felt at the loss of their beautiful child. How astonished they would be to see her reburied and remembered again after so many years. Did the spirit of the angel of grief comfort them somehow? (The statue is only a symbol but I do believe we have angelic spirits who help us through grief) Perhaps they were too caught up in their emotions to feel it. The plot located in Colma where this child who was called Miranda until her real name is discovered is a special one for abandoned children whose parents are unknown so that the child can be buried in dignity and not forgotten.

It left me thinking when it was over that there are so many who are in hospitals, nursing homes and other places where they are dying and already forgotten. I witnessed it in a veteran‘s hospital when visiting my father as a child. These men who fought in wars and protected our country were living their last days neglected and alone. One hopes they eventually had a decent burial with full honors. But in these days of high funeral expenses, for many people that is not always possible. We all deserve to be remembered with dignity and surrounded by beauty. 

When death over takes our lives, it changes our outlook forever and these sites with their beautiful monuments remind us that life is transient  So say the words you have always wished to say to your loved one now. Forgive if possible and hug often. 

And if you walk past a grave and feel an impulse to stop and look then perhaps it’s a sign that an angelic presence is pointing it out to you. Don’t forget to leave a beautiful flower.

I welcome your thoughts and stories on the air.

Verna Wilson