Thoughts From Beyond

It's not surprising that the subject of death is the first subject of our show this week. October is a month associated with Halloween, All Souls Day, and Day Of The Dead.The leaves on the trees begin to fall reminding us of the cycle of death and rebirth. With shorter days that get dark early we tend to stay inside more and our thoughts turn inward to studying, sleeping and dreaming. It's no wonder that traditionally it is known as the season where the veil to the other world is at it's most open and we can feel our ancestors and loved ones the strongest.

Death is such a personal experience for everyone that many stories are saved and told over again in families and circles of friends and communities, yet we often wonder from time to time that if a part of someone has survived, what are their thoughts and how can we reach them or vice versa? Being asked this question more often than ever, the thought that came to me is that we often get a glimpse of those answers when we are in mourning and in deep grief because that is when the newly departed soul is reaching out to us before their next journey. I know it's not easy because grief takes over your whole being and everything seems like a blur. Yet in looking back when others are telling me personal stories of their loved ones passing,  they often tell me they dreamed heavily about the individual the first year or so after the death occured. The messages through these dreams were varied. Most often  their loved one came to say goodbye, other times they were trying to reassure the person who was grieving that they are ok and not to worry.  I have even heard of unfinished business such as the case of my grandmother who had a dream about her aunt coming to her and asking for special masses to be said for her soul. She mentioned that her soul was in purgatory and she was in a terrible state.She then instructed my grandmother to go into their bedroom and their was a certain opening in the wall where there was a box of money hidden. She asked her to take that money and use it for special prayers for her soul to be uplifted and the rest of the funds was for my grandmother to keep. Well right after my grandmother had this dream, she told my mother and made her promise to keep it a secret. She then had my mother accompany her to the bedroom mentioned and after inspecting it, they found the opening in the wall and inside was the box of money just as it was revealed. I mention this story because I heard the story so often in my childhood and I do recall that the dream occurred when her aunt had only made her passing recently at the time. That is just one example and I do realize that for many people reading this, the story has religious over tones. I am recalling exactly the way it was told to me and it's important to keep the details in there as it was remembered.

However I have also seen grief become a stumbling block if it is prolonged for a period of time. I am aware that in grieving there is no time frame and everyone handles it differently but I have witnessed some sad situtations where grief seem to be holding  someone back and we should equally pay attention to what messages we are receiving when that happens. Years ago when I was looking for a place to live I ran across a former co worker who lived in a large flat and he lost his mate two years before.He was depressed and drinking alot, and he told me he kept having dreams of his partner leaving on a boat. I felt so bad for him and I learned that all of his friends and support group were trying to get him help. But the dreams were disturbing him the most. In another similar situation, a friend of mine lost her fiance and she was grieving for almost 6 years. He kept appearing to her in a boat that was sailing away and he was waving good bye just like the other guy's dream.

The journey toward death is a subject very few wish to speak of and it is often different and highly personal for the person involved. There are matters to be discussed, papers, inheritance. wills, relationships, concerns,forgiveness, memories.Often the person dying will start to talk about what he or she is seeing and dream of relatives and loved ones long passed as being present in the room or in a dream. This is the time to ask questions, pay attention, and see what we can learn from them. It's hard and it's painful but it can be rewarding for all involved if we make the journey easier. We will be forever having questions on what the process feels like and what is going on in the mind of the dying. By being open and attentive to details before and after the person has passed we can be better prepared and bring something positive back to the living.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences on the air.